"Honey do you really need that? It's your second helping, and you had a pretty big starter."
"Oh my god are you saying I'm fat?!"
"No of course not! It's just since the pregnancy you have kind of put on a little bit of weight."
"Oh my god I can't believe what I'm hearing! So yes I did put on a bit during the pregnancy but that's totally normal by the way. And I'll admit it I haven't been that quick to loose it but I have a new baby for gods sake! I'm tired, I'm doing my best you know. I'm sorry if I'm not like those celebs that lose their baby weight in a matter of days. I think my hormones are still over the place to be honest. I can't believe I'm even having to justify myself, to you of all people. You should understand. I've just had a baby..."
"But that's the thing darling, you didn't actually have the baby, I did...."